Shuttle Tales

So let’s see, what did I do this week? Watched “Taken” and went into the “I hate all men” mode. I mean the helplessness of those”taken” women just drove me crazy. Go go watch the movie and then we’ll discuss. And And yeah And I met this Desi- the Americanized Desi. I dunno what to call these types. I have met a lot of desis here, who doesn’t? Every other group at my work place has a couple of Desis, along with Chinkis (no offence, just find “chinki” cute over Asians or Chinese) and I am surprised at how some of them don’t have a trace of borrowed accent. Call it borrowed, faked or pretentious. I have met Desis in their late 40’s who still have the sweet South Indian accent and I simply love to talk to them. Feels like back home, reminds me of good old neighbor – Iyer uncle. Still his image in the white shirt and white lungi flashes in front of my eyes. I always admired his impeccable English. If I concentrate, I can still remember the Sai baba bhajan he sang, though the memory is fading now. Sigh! So when I meet such Desis, I simply admire how they have managed to stay untouched, their simplicity is still evident. And then once in a while you come across someone whom you would punch in the face if no one were looking. I met one such dude yesterday. Let call this type “The Other”

I had a meeting to attend in another building, so took the famous shuttle which travels half way around the world. I usually don’t mind travelling in it, if there aren’t too many people I start talking with the driver. It’s fun you know. But well, yesterday wasn’t one of those days. As I walked out of my building, I saw this guy waiting there. Had a coffee cup in a hand and was reading newspaper. As soon as I walked out the door, he simply looked at me, annoyed. As if I had done something. Then he started pacing really fast, almost went to the next building. And just then the shuttle arrived, shoot! Dude ran from the other end as if it were a marathon, got ahead of me and started pulling on the shuttle van door. I stood a few paces behind and watched, I was sure in a matter of mins he would break the handle. But well, the driver (a cute Chinki) opened the door knob. Btw, her opening the knob and him trying to break down the door, I guess his temper level quadrupled. Till then he had not opened his mouth to say a thing. The Chinki opened the front window and told him to “Now try now”. Annoyed he tried and the door opened. The first comment that came out of his mouth was “Jesus Christ”. And this friends was with a real heavy American accent which totally seemed fake. Maybe he was born here I told myself. But then it didn’t seem that way. He entered the car angrily muttering something, this time in Hindi and boy no accent. I got in after him and sat in the seat behind. I couldn’t reach the door from there and asked him if he could shut it. He didn’t turn to look at me, his nose was dug in the newspaper and he blabbered something, then said “She’ll do it” (with heavy accent again). But the door wasn’t automated so the Chinki told him “They have to close”. That’s where it all began:

The Other: Looks around and exclaims, who?

Chinki: They (Well, she meant you, but you know how it is with grammer, can’t blame anyone)

The Other: There is no they here, do you mean me or she?

Chinki: Yes, Yes she

The Other: Turns to me, cold eyes. “Close the door”

Me: What? Errr, how do I reach it, I already fastened the seat belt.

The Other: Again nose dug in the newspaper, doesn’t look at me. “Just do it”

Me: Completely annoyed, looks at Chinki, who seems equally annoyed

Chinki: Pointing to The Other. “Uscuxe me, she close door”

The Other: Annoyed. “Jesus Christ, this totally sucks”

Me: Trying to control my laughter (Sometimes I really can’t control when to laugh and when not to, I usually need a person by me to pinch the sense into me)

The shuttle starts on its merry ride. The route is (dunno whether it’s green, blue, orange, purple or what), Bldg 34-24-29-4-7-51-42-44-OTC-1. And Chinki has to take that route, no shortcuts, has to go to all those building, whether anyone is waiting or not.

Chinki goes to 24. The Other mumbles under his breath. Chinki goes to 29. The Other exclaims out loud “Jesus Christ”. I put hands on my mouth and choke on laughter. Chinki goes to 4.

The Other: Just go to OTC. Jesus Christ, what the h... (doesn’t say the word) is wrong with you?

Chinki: Either cant hear or cant understand, so doesn’t care or respond

Me: Silent Laughs!!

Chinki goes to 7

The Other: Jesus Christ! Stop Stop now!

Chinki: Panic’s and stops, turns around “Ok? Not Ok?”

The Other: Just drive to OTC. No one is waiting in those buildings.

Chinki: Confused look and exclaims “He can’t. Told me go all building. See this”. Hands The Other a paper with instructions and starts driving

The Other: Calls someone. “Yes. Shuttle Service. No. Option 1. No I don’t want a shuttle. Operator. OOPERATOR. Jesus Christ! NO NO NO. Shuttle, I meant Shuttle”. Hangs up.

Guess he was trying to reach the Shuttle Services, he he he!

Chinki finally got to building 44, the building I wanted to get to yay yay!

Chinki opened door knob and said out loud “She open door”. This time The Other understood. Opened the door spilling all the coffee and exclaiming “Jesus Christ”. I got out laughing loud, didn’t care whether he heard or not. Chinki however did join me in the laughter. Guess the journey to OTC was going to be a lot of angry looks and talks. On the other hand I thoroughly enjoyed my ride!