Chronicles of Ma

It looks like my blog is missing some humour, I scrolled through few earlier posts and the mood around here is growing serious. After talking of Mumbai I tried to think of something hilarious that happened during this week and then remembered SecondSight’s pretty please. So Chronicles of Ma it is, nothing more is ever funnier than discussion between Ma and me. So yday I called Ma, the usual daily call, the usual random talks of increase in the price of veggies, growing pollution, hopeless maids, growing population of cockroaches, steaming hot tea and such. But the highlight was ayurvedic and homeopathic medicines.

Ma: So you saw na that Pushkar Churan, good it is. Everyday eat one spoon full. Spoon must be full. And don’t complain. These young girls, will always argue, never listen.

Me: Ma, Ma, Maaaaa listen no, what you keep talking. Yeah I saw that, one in the red box na?

Ma: Red box, what red box, you must have put it away. You don’t even remember the name, its Pushkar churan. Pooo…shaaaa…kaar

Me (trying to not giggle): Yeah yeah correct, I have it here; no I didn’t put it away. Who makes this stuff? It’s like some company I don’t know and there is no expiry on this.

Ma: Expiry, you want expiry. It’s Ayurvedic, it’s like Haldi, nothing happens to it. You can keep it as long and there is no need to keep it as long if you take it every day. Now girl listen to me, you are going to take one spoon full everyday ok? No arguments

Me: OK Ma, I will. How are things going in India? Ma economy is so bad here; things just seem to be falling apart.

Ma: That is why you must pray daily. Do you recite Ramraksha strotra, Lakshmi stotra, Ganpati stotra, Hanuman stotra, Kuldevi stotra, Gajanan Maharaj stotra daily?

Me: What Ma, I only have an hour in a morning to get ready and go to work and I don’t think there is enough time to recite them.

Ma: Always argue, always. Ganpati is God of knowledge, don’t you need intelligene, buddi and wit to do your work, Ramraksha will protect you from all evil, Lakshmi is for salary, then don’t complain salary cut and this and that and Hanuman, well that’s for strength and also for protecting in addition to Ramraksha and Gajanan Maharaj is for a guru, every person should have a guru. And never forget Kuldevi, always pray to her. And then you complain economy and all. Every day you should pray, do namasmaran. Do you forget to watch all those serials and eat and breathe?

Me: Ma breathing is a natural process, how would I forget it, I don’t even do it consciously. And to survive one has to eat and serials Ma, that’s my lifeline, I can’t give up on those. You don’t know how Big Bang Theory works on stress.

Ma: Big Bang cheeee, what a name. At least some Indianized serials with culture and tradition you watch. Big Bang? What is that? Must be something weird. This young generation God help them. And about economy and job cuts they will go on and on. We have seen so many rainy days, all storm and rainy. And no luxuries like you all. We never complained and now this generation acts as if world is going to end only. Just thinking of tomorrow always, running running, no stopping, no standing and breathing. Then they want all success and money and everything and all that fast. And you remember that aunty (some aunts name I didn’t even remember), her dad’s cousins-sisters-son. He had lost a limb, but didn’t give up, didn’t have a big car or big house or anything but he lived for good 80 yrs and lived a happy life, even without one limb. And you young people will cry and complain, bad economy bad economy. And what about day after tomorrow, that’s going to come and you are still stuck on tomorrow and worries of tomorrow. Rama Rama!

Me (overwhelmed by the lecture and yet trying to gain ground): Ma Big Ban is a comedy. Anywho, now got to go to bed ok. Will call you tomorrow.

Ma:Ok ok, I also have lots of work now, full time talking to you and wasting time, you eat that Pushkar Churna and recite some stotras, timepass you do. Now before going to bed recite. And don’t read book in dim light, and wake up early- early to bed, early to rise. And think of good things. This maid everything wrong she does, they need to be always spoon fed. I have to only do everything.

Me: Ma , Maaaaaaaaa ok ok ok ok. Maid, new one? (Phone cuts) Wasn’t I still talking?

As I kept the phone I realized how simply she could make my worries seem stupid. There are always bigger problems out there but somehow its always the perception that matters. In this big world, all problems frankly are just tiny, its every individual who looks at them through a magnifier.