Monster went poof!

First of all, u guys rock for your patience. Second of all, whoooo-hoooo to all those who visited my blog in spite of no updates (ok I know this is same as point 1). Third of all, this could be a rather long post so buckle up!

So folks news is I checked off one more adventure from my "things-close-enough-to-adventure-list" over the Memorial day weekend. I went Jet-Ski, I know I know, it ain't even a real adventure. But if you are like me, who believes, that any deep water source be it lake, river or sea bears sharks and anaconda, well it becomes a different story!

Now this goes back to when I was 4 or (ahem! maybe 8) and my bro was watching this horrible shark movie marathon. You all know that one- JAWS. And I tagged along pretending to be brave. That's when this thought got rooted, same reason why I would never jump into deep pool to swim and neither do I ever swim underwater. Ok fine, I'll say it, I don’t even swim one lap that well. And then there was that anaconda movie, a huge slimy snake swallowing a human and then throwing up! Now who thinks that's funny? But well the point is I had to check off the jet-ski from the list and there is only so much one can do at Lake Chelan. A place close by 3 hrs drive. So I and J hopped on the Jet Ski. To begin with, I was terrified. And to make it worst, I had watched the movie latest Terminator in theatre and the machine snakes stayed in my brain. So while J skied away wind swishing, eyes watering to the middle of the lake. I recited every possible stotra I knew. I also thought of all the things I wanted to do if I never made it back to the shore. Especially about the inheritance of this blog and my potted plants. Often my high-pitched screams of "Jao, Jao"(meaning Go away, Go away) left the other Jet-skiers confused. I wonder why I used the National language, but well that's another story. The instructor had told us to stay 100 feet away from other jet ski's, so as soon as they came to my sight as a tiny spot I would start screaming. My sound would simply bounce against the wind and go down my throat. Also, any boat in sight would seem like a Titanic to me, no kidding! And I was quite sure this Titanic would sink near our Jet Ski and cause some horrendous waves.

But yet between all this fear, there was something exciting about riding a Jet-Ski, which made adrenaline flow through my veins. I was scared, hell yeah and yet some part of me was enjoying the weather, the sun, crystal clear lake and the view of the land from the middle of the lake.

Finally J put me in the drivers seat, this was my one chance to truly check off the adventure. I had to gather up the courage, run over those anacondas, punch the sharks in the face (ahem, using my foot) and thoroughly enjoy. So I started off at a speed of 2 miles/hr and watched some paddle boats going past me. Smirks on the faces of all those people paddling away. Hmph! I wondered if someone drapped tiny floats around ants and put them in water would they swim faster than my jet ski, hell ya! So I debated with self for a while and finally pumped gas in the Yamaha without looking at the speedometer. J was quite high on adrenaline and screamed and whooooooo-hoooooooooed. Suddenly one by one the shark, anaconda monsters started vanishing. The boats all around reduced to a manageable size from the humongous Titanic ships. While I screwed up a couple of times by coming a abrupt halt and turning the handle all the way to left or right causing the jet ski to go a full circle right at the same spot, it was all fun. J was quite prepared to swim to shore. I wasn’t, who wants to swim in chilly glacier water, I don’t. But again, if I were to fall and drown in the lake, I better not regret dying there, right? So I stabbed my monsters and skied away!

So now that I shared some of my monsters, how about you tell me yours? Come on, everyone has their monsters-some fear the dark, some fear the ghosts (don’t even get me started on that), some fear heights. How about u?

Swine flu!

So 2 weeks without post, I know you all must be wondering what’s up right? Oh come on, ok well may be you didn’t wonder, but I kinda live in my own world where I believe all that exists in world is good. OMG, I seriously have lost it, literally scribbling some utter rubbish and trust me if not for the spelling check thing, this sentence would have sounded totally different. Last 2 weeks there is been lot happening around Swine Flu and Layoffs. Either people are dead, ill or jobless. Ok kidding. But seriously there were emails flying all around about swine flu and masks, one person constantly kept enquiring about a pig mask. Well that said there were parents calling from India and there were enquiries, suggestions, orders and such.

Ma: That disease some flu flu, in papers it says, its all over US. People are dying left and right. You better not go to work. And I have avoided asking you this Hey Ram…do you’ll eat pig?

Me: Ma please! No ones dying, some schools are closed but that’s just precaution, if it was so bad office would have been shut. And no one gets the swine flu by eating pork (Oops there we go)

Ma: NO ONE GETS BY EATING PORK. So now you give up all dharma, karma. Eat cow also, who is there to see. No one is watching so you kids can do whatever you want, Ram Ram…Krishna..Vishnu (and then she goes on a God name recital marathon)

Me: MAAAA, no we don’t eat pork. I am just saying, the disease doesn’t spread that way.

Ma: (Breathing now relaxed)You better stick to vegetarian food. Sangita was telling me about masks, what masks they wear, is it like doctors, nurses?

Me: Who is Sangita? And I haven’t seen anyone wearing masks, but I saw emails, hilarious kinds of masks, I will email bro. He can show you the email.

Ma: Sangita..you don’t know Sangita, she is our bai…like since 6 months and you don’t know. Which world are you in, so many times I told you, I know you call me when you are almost asleep and I am only talking here. So all this time you didn’t know her, now at least you know na? Send that email and send all that swine flu information, here papers write all stories but no real facts.

Me: Ok ok…..telll Sangita I said hi (Gosh!)

Ma: And why are so many people fired, what will all those people do. I remember the good old days, people got a job and would stay there till they retired. Now there are these all horror stories, people change job so many times, you young kids get bored and then change job, complain complain, now see what happened

Me: Ma, this has nothing to do with job hopping. It’s a economy thing. Why do you bother Ma? What’s happening in Saas Bahu serial these days?

Ma: Don’t even ask, I have stopped watching Tulsi serial, so many times characters change, but then I see it now and then. Economy, everything is becoming so expensive and then there is that…what is that…all people removed from jobs. That is why pray everyday, do namasmaran.

Me: (Oh please don’t get started on that now) Ok well, I need to get some sleep now. I will pray and not eat non-veg and yes do yoga and whatever else you say

Ma: Ok Ok I will go tell Sangita there are no masks in US, where she heard it from I will ask. That other building Rajni aunty’s son is in US, her maid told her it seems. Should tell her do some namasmaran rather than talking all this.

Me: Ok byee…(Oh man, sorry Sangita)

Ma: Aaccha, take care, bhaji wali has come…nahi nahi yeh kidhar hai tazi bhaji..dekho kaise dikhti hai ekdum mari hui….aaj kal kuch bhi leke aati ho…kya 10 roopaiya joodi….itna mehenga…nahi nahi…..

And there is went talking to the bhaji wali, I still hung on to the phone listening to their conversation. Sometimes I wish there were bhaji walis here too :)