Friday, February 20, 2009

White Eggs and Brown Eggs are the same

Its Friday and a post day. No I don’t care if I cant think of anything real to share, I am just going to throw some words here, add a bit of masala and say served! This week was fulto tv week, what? How? Coz we watched 2 movies- both every morning in bits as our breakfast tv bit. By we I mean “me”. Yup I need to, have to watch something while I sip tea early morning, it’s a breakfast ritual accompanied by the tea ritual. How can you not I ask? Then we watched Lost, House , Heroes and Big Bang. I know I know Big Bang’s not coming back till March snif snif! So we watched Season 1 all over again, of the luminous gold fish and such. At work, we had some crazy crazy people we dealt with. Don’t ask, please don’t ask. Shhh! Ok only coz you asked, there was this one dude who believed that 2 different people, living in different states, with different names, addresses, phone numbers are the same people. Yep I tried to explain, saying look look this and that and this is different and dude say o well I think they are same to same. Freak!

And yday I went to Safeway, closer to home no, so I walk. Literally wanted to buy every 2nd thing I saw but didn’t. Sob Sob! Bought the regular groceries and chips and titbits and ran to the express lane, its supposed to be faster. However there was this old lady who was helping the guy at the counter to fill customer purchased goods in the bags. She must be in her 80’s, and constantly blabbering "I tell ya, there is no difference between brown eggs and white" she said to someone who looked like a zombie. Anywho, she stopped every customer to tell them this. Explained to them how once upon a time (very very long time ago I believe) her grandmother had a farm and hens. During Depression the hen gave brown eggs (Yeah I know, how would the hens know)but well the story goes-which no one purchased so oldie had to sell the hens. She repeated the story to me, I out of courtesy said “She would definitely have made more money now”. Gone! Oldie made me step out of line

Old lady: Strange look

Me: Sweet smile

Old lady: (very softly, voice low, eyeing everyone around) Yeah its all about what the hens eat I tell ya

Me:(Duh!) Hmmm yeah true, true (There are times when I feel like slapping myself to present)

Old lady: “You know with all these computers….technology… and blue…brown…green eggs and the kinda amount they charge everyone?”

Me:”umm I’m not sure but guess its just a few cents more……green eggs?”

Old lady: “FEW CENTS??????” “In this economy…..everyone losing job and all….I have to fill bags you see…and I am old. Have you seen an ostrich egg?”

Me: Errrr “Ok gotta go” (That was quick, good now just stick to it)

Old lady: “You know there’s all this fraud going on these days and you can never trust computers…….I have lots of kids who work with computers and they’ve told me nothing is safe.”

Me: “Yeah…..I know……gotta go” (What’s your point? Lotsa Kids?)

Old lady: "So keep your card and cheque and all hidden, safe somewhere and don’t throw that bill like that?”

Me: “Ok, Thank you. Have a great day!” (Started to leave)

Old lady: “So see you tomorrow okie, oh wait wait Did I tell you brown eggs and white are actually the same?”

Me: Grrrrr! (O God, not again please please)

Me: Byeees

Old lady completely ignores me and to the next customer in line: “So did I tell you brown eggs and white are the same?”

Oh man, I think I am some kind of freak magnet, what else can be the reason for such people to start a conversation with me. After that conversation I didnt want to think, cook or eat eggs.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A special day

We usually don't blog twice in a day, rather this is the first time. But sometimes when there is high energy around me, I tend to think of words and compose posts in mind. Today is one such day, its a special day for a dear friend of ours. Its a day of:

New above all of love.

This one is for A and M- for their journey together. So all you nice people there, join me in wishing A & M happiness forever..

Parsing the purse

I used to love sitting next to Ma as she cleaned her purse. There were always those special old things she had forgotten to throw away. Often she had a chocolate hid in some pocket and completely forgotten about it. Though the chocolate would be days old and sort of shapeless, I would still grab and eat it :). There would be bills, old crumpled notes, holy books, dead spider, medicines and ginger tugged somewhere in a ziplock bag. Dad would often scold Ma for keeping all those things stuffed in her bag while I laughed at their conversation. She would explain how each of those things were important for different reasons like how the ginger came handy if someone were to fall ill. Wonder how? I wondered how she could store the whole world in that purse. Today as I sat eating lunch alone, I saw a women cleaning her purse and it reminded me of the good old times.

The last time I cleaned my purse (which was a while ago shhh!) I found the following items:

1. A chewing gum wrapped in the silver wrapper (after being chewed to death)
2. 10 Rs note (nearly brought a tear to my eye, I think I would fill buckets if it were 25 paisa coin) sniff sniff!
3. BEST bus ticket (long back I used to collect these, still cling on to them)
4. Vicks VapoRub, Vicks Inhaler, Vicks Cough drops (These looked if not years, months old eeks!)
5. Eyeliner, Lipstick, Ponds powder dabba (gosh who put that in my purse, never liked Ponds), cold cream, toothbrush (what, why? Thank god I didn’t have a tongue cleaner too), ear buds.
6. Two headphones (one old , one current- don’t ask why)
7. Lotsa bills- I never say no to the person at the counter when she asks if I want a bill, just grab it and dump in the purse.
8. A diary - never used
9. Hair pins, safety pins- Why do I need those for?
10. Some old newspaper, greeting cards, notes to self (interesting read)
11. Keys, some in use, some loose ones- don’t know which lock they belonged to
12. Calculator- My precious, hate when someone takes it
13. Handkerchief- found 5, never carry one and never find one when I need it
14. Pencil cells, Pens (atleast a dozen)
15. And yeah money- a few dollars here and there hidden away. Cancerian told ya!
16. Hey bhagwan so many photos of gods, ganpati, sai baba (all given by Ma)

Now I am feeling all nostalgic. So tell me when was the last time you cleaned your purse? What did you find?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A real reward

Isnt it an awesome feeling when you know people actually like what you write? I received 2 awards this week, from Neeraja and Sumi. Both inspire me for different reasons:

Neeraja: Thanks for always finding new topics to challenge my brain. You put things in such different perspective. Not only the posts but even the comments that everyone and you share are good food for thought

Sumi: Your paintings inspire the creativity in me. These arent just paintings these are thoughts and ideas so well put forth by means of colors

The award prompted me to go back to when I started this blog, it has been over a year woah! And God my writing sucked back then :). I wanted to think of something really witty and put a smile on every visitors face but then I thought of sharing my blog journey with all of you. So here are some of my fav from the past. Hope atleast one of them makes you smile. And well if they suck you can share that in your comments which probably will not make it to the audience :) Just kidding have fun.

Oh and yeah before that, I have to, need to forward this award. I would love to share it with all the visitors who stop by, it’s a pleasure to make you folks smile. And ofcourse to my blogosphere buddies:

Erika: Love your style of writing and commitment of posting everyday. Especially the TTDNSTs.

Mrs Gadre: Like the simplicity so come on now write more.

Second sight, first: Awesome writing, always fresh, always inspiring.

So here we go, the old ones:

Tring Tring India Calling

The black cat seems to follow me

I blame the housefly

Played possum and died, poor Madam Fly

True Lies

Bai Famine

Group Health Next Door

Who doesn’t fear the driving test?

How many Michael Phelps did you meet this week?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Shuttle Tales

So let’s see, what did I do this week? Watched “Taken” and went into the “I hate all men” mode. I mean the helplessness of those”taken” women just drove me crazy. Go go watch the movie and then we’ll discuss. And And yeah And I met this Desi- the Americanized Desi. I dunno what to call these types. I have met a lot of desis here, who doesn’t? Every other group at my work place has a couple of Desis, along with Chinkis (no offence, just find “chinki” cute over Asians or Chinese) and I am surprised at how some of them don’t have a trace of borrowed accent. Call it borrowed, faked or pretentious. I have met Desis in their late 40’s who still have the sweet South Indian accent and I simply love to talk to them. Feels like back home, reminds me of good old neighbor – Iyer uncle. Still his image in the white shirt and white lungi flashes in front of my eyes. I always admired his impeccable English. If I concentrate, I can still remember the Sai baba bhajan he sang, though the memory is fading now. Sigh! So when I meet such Desis, I simply admire how they have managed to stay untouched, their simplicity is still evident. And then once in a while you come across someone whom you would punch in the face if no one were looking. I met one such dude yesterday. Let call this type “The Other”

I had a meeting to attend in another building, so took the famous shuttle which travels half way around the world. I usually don’t mind travelling in it, if there aren’t too many people I start talking with the driver. It’s fun you know. But well, yesterday wasn’t one of those days. As I walked out of my building, I saw this guy waiting there. Had a coffee cup in a hand and was reading newspaper. As soon as I walked out the door, he simply looked at me, annoyed. As if I had done something. Then he started pacing really fast, almost went to the next building. And just then the shuttle arrived, shoot! Dude ran from the other end as if it were a marathon, got ahead of me and started pulling on the shuttle van door. I stood a few paces behind and watched, I was sure in a matter of mins he would break the handle. But well, the driver (a cute Chinki) opened the door knob. Btw, her opening the knob and him trying to break down the door, I guess his temper level quadrupled. Till then he had not opened his mouth to say a thing. The Chinki opened the front window and told him to “Now try now”. Annoyed he tried and the door opened. The first comment that came out of his mouth was “Jesus Christ”. And this friends was with a real heavy American accent which totally seemed fake. Maybe he was born here I told myself. But then it didn’t seem that way. He entered the car angrily muttering something, this time in Hindi and boy no accent. I got in after him and sat in the seat behind. I couldn’t reach the door from there and asked him if he could shut it. He didn’t turn to look at me, his nose was dug in the newspaper and he blabbered something, then said “She’ll do it” (with heavy accent again). But the door wasn’t automated so the Chinki told him “They have to close”. That’s where it all began:

The Other: Looks around and exclaims, who?

Chinki: They (Well, she meant you, but you know how it is with grammer, can’t blame anyone)

The Other: There is no they here, do you mean me or she?

Chinki: Yes, Yes she

The Other: Turns to me, cold eyes. “Close the door”

Me: What? Errr, how do I reach it, I already fastened the seat belt.

The Other: Again nose dug in the newspaper, doesn’t look at me. “Just do it”

Me: Completely annoyed, looks at Chinki, who seems equally annoyed

Chinki: Pointing to The Other. “Uscuxe me, she close door”

The Other: Annoyed. “Jesus Christ, this totally sucks”

Me: Trying to control my laughter (Sometimes I really can’t control when to laugh and when not to, I usually need a person by me to pinch the sense into me)

The shuttle starts on its merry ride. The route is (dunno whether it’s green, blue, orange, purple or what), Bldg 34-24-29-4-7-51-42-44-OTC-1. And Chinki has to take that route, no shortcuts, has to go to all those building, whether anyone is waiting or not.

Chinki goes to 24. The Other mumbles under his breath. Chinki goes to 29. The Other exclaims out loud “Jesus Christ”. I put hands on my mouth and choke on laughter. Chinki goes to 4.

The Other: Just go to OTC. Jesus Christ, what the h... (doesn’t say the word) is wrong with you?

Chinki: Either cant hear or cant understand, so doesn’t care or respond

Me: Silent Laughs!!

Chinki goes to 7

The Other: Jesus Christ! Stop Stop now!

Chinki: Panic’s and stops, turns around “Ok? Not Ok?”

The Other: Just drive to OTC. No one is waiting in those buildings.

Chinki: Confused look and exclaims “He can’t. Told me go all building. See this”. Hands The Other a paper with instructions and starts driving

The Other: Calls someone. “Yes. Shuttle Service. No. Option 1. No I don’t want a shuttle. Operator. OOPERATOR. Jesus Christ! NO NO NO. Shuttle, I meant Shuttle”. Hangs up.

Guess he was trying to reach the Shuttle Services, he he he!

Chinki finally got to building 44, the building I wanted to get to yay yay!

Chinki opened door knob and said out loud “She open door”. This time The Other understood. Opened the door spilling all the coffee and exclaiming “Jesus Christ”. I got out laughing loud, didn’t care whether he heard or not. Chinki however did join me in the laughter. Guess the journey to OTC was going to be a lot of angry looks and talks. On the other hand I thoroughly enjoyed my ride!