2-Wheeler tales

“Aakhe hai ya button, dikhai nahi deta kya?” –the first time I ever got almost close to running over someone on my kinetic (kinu), this is what I heard. This inspite of the fact that the said person was leisurely walking on the main road (cant really blame him, footpaths where pouring with vegetable/fruit vendors, dogs, a cow in front of a temple and ofcourse more than needed pedestrians). He also had completely ignored my kinu honking which was masked by the honking of several other cars, a kachara gaadi and ofcoure the hurrrrs from the watermelon bullock cart guy. I almost lost balance, kinu wheels skid and was red in the face upon hearing this.
My reaction- Aapko sunai nahi diya, yeh main road hai ke footpath, pata nahi kaha kaha se aate hai?

This wasn’t the only annoying and painful experience of riding a bike on the streets of Mumbai, there are several memories. None of which ever stopped me from dressing like a terrorist (covering my face, foreheard and head with a scarf and goggles) and heading out every single day on my bike. Remember how you in your car, bus got stuck in the traffic and I would squeeze through the gap between the footpath and main road and go about merrily on my bike. Yep kinu had its advantages. But it also meant frustrations and interactions with particular types of bikers.

Cycle heroes: These always found ways to match up to my bike speed. How? By hanging on to buses, autos or sometimes even bullock carts and not even taking the effort of pedaling. Often a reason of me unable to overtake them and always trying to avoid running over them. I always imagined the bus would come to an abrupt halt and the cycle hero to go right into the bus (tom and jerry istyle), but alas never got a chance to witness it :(

Then there were the quadruple riders: Now these always had to ride as a family of four. Chunnu, Munnu, Mummy and Papa, all on the bike. Chunnu would stand in front and almost always was of the height that his hair would fly into Papa’s nose and eyes, causing Papa to lose balance, change track unwarned and sometimes break unnecessarily. Every time I saw this category going up a flyover and me trailing, I would fear them skiing in reverse downhill and dragging me with them. Thank God that never happened, though it meant Papa to change gears multiple times trying to ensure that the bike continues going uphill at an ant pace and me watching all cars and bikes zoom past. Hmph!

How about the extreme bikers?: Now these kinds are like 3-4 bikers who ride at ultimate speed just cutting through traffic, you find them taking odd routes, ogling at girls and often with a bandana on forehead. I have seen them taking the foothpath route too, just to get past the traffic. Its annoying to watch them break all rules of traffic, while you are stuck there. The little voice in my head would always tell me to take the footpath route, break all rules but then again that needs some courage and cool bribing qualities that I completely lack.

Then there are the duo’s: These almost always ride side to side, not on a deserted road, not on a street rather in broad daylight and on the main road. Somehow they have some interesting topic going on and the two bikers have to chat with each other while riding parallel. And if you try and honk, trust me the kind of reaction you get will be –“Kya hai madam, dikhta nahi baat chalu hai?” Huh! Ok ok, how about I take another route, because I just forgot you OWN THE ROAD.

Btw I have seen these duo’s separate and I have watched the frustration, the reason was a cow sitting right in the middle of the road. What fun, aint it?

Apart from this there are dhoti pundits riding their scooter, while if not all, most of their dhoti is flying in air, giving them a batman like look. Ahem!

To add to all the chaos that already existed on the roads, the police introduced “Helmet compulsory” rule. Which meant almost all the 2-wheeler public were riding ridiculously coz they couldn’t see which car is next to them, thanks to the helmet. But that deserves a separate post coz I understood their pain. Nonetheless, 2-wheleer in Mumbai was a blessing, easiest and fastest means to reach said destination. I miss you –Kinu!