Secret-Always hard to keep

When you are told to keep a secret what do you do? Do you have this urge of telling the first person you see, whether you know the person or not? Do you share it with your mom who explains how it’s absolutely disastrous to share a secret and then goes on and on about how it’s a sin you told her, now that she too has to keep it a secret? Do you tell your dad, who if like mine totally finds it uninteresting and lame. Dude it’s a secret, get it. Someone somewhere doesn’t want it to be shared with anyone. Itsss aaa secretttt shhhh. But well, that’s what men do, don’t they? They don’t have secrets, there are no boundaries of what to say or not say when having conversations. Keep our wife, family and kids topics out and there will be no secrets. Also, when you can talk hours and hours about politics, money market and cricket, why would you need any other complicated topics which lead to secrets.

So what do I do when someone tells me to hear them out and then just shut up? Not a word to anyone. Not even a single syllable. Well, I feel as if I have a knot in my stomach. Now if the person had never told me explicitly that it's a secret, I wouldn’t care less. But now after pointing out not to tell, how do I seriously not tell? Don’t get me wrong, I am not the kind of friend who would go share secrets, but this is just an urge of telling someone. Just a little bit you know. And like all good women, I have managed to kill, stab and poke this urge out of my system everytime. But then what’s the harm if you share it with your mom who is like seven seas away and has no remote connection to this so called person whatsoever right?

Ma: (after sharing pleasantries) What else, I hate these long pauses you know…there is so much going on here and I am holding the phone all the time. Bai, tum kal aaogi na (Ma talking simultaneously to the maid servant)

Me: So remembers that person at my office (let’s call him Obi-Wan Kenobi). Why this name is another story for some other time. Obi-Wan told me about blah and blah and didn’t want me to tell anyone.

Ma: What is this? Why did you tell me? Now what do I do with this? You know when it's told not to tell you should not tell. Now how weird will I feel when talking to Geeta masi, Sita masi, Bai and those women who meet me everyday when taking evening walks.

Me: WHAT? Why should they care? And how does this relate in any way to them Ma?

Ma: Well, how did it relate to me?

Me: Ma, you are my mom and I can share stuff with you about a person you remotely know. Doesn’t mean you should go tell half the world about it.

Ma: Half the world, you call this half the world. I am not even telling Sangita masi (our neighbor), Bai II (our other less favorite bai), some mrs x, mrs y, mrs z (women I don’t even know). And they too don’t know this person and don’t say this to anyone but I don’t think they would even visit USA. And don’t mention this to anyone because they certainly think they will.

Me: (What kind of weird information is that, why would I tell someone this) But still you don’t need to tell them. I should have never told you. I take my words back, you never heard about it.

Ma: I maybe old but I am not so old that you just tell me to forget something and I forget. This is a good lesson for you, now you will remember not to tell anyone.

Me: Ofcourse it’s a lesson, but I don’t need to learn it the hard way, do I? Ma, can you just forget this entire topic, pleaaaaaaaase.

Ma: I cannot just forget. Ok maybe just Sangita masi (who by the way would definitely tell half the world)

Me: O dear god. How do I convince you not to say a word to anyone? Where is dad, maybe I should just tell him this.

Ma: What do you mean tell dad, what has he to do with this. (Other phone rings) Hold on now, I need to clear this with you.

Background chatter- Ma talking to someone
Ah Sangita, tell tell. Yes yes, I know her. Your sister’s husband’s cousin right? Yes yes, tell. Oh, getting married, when? Such good news. Not a news? Why? Oh, they haven’t told anyone yet? I see, ofcourse ofcourse. No no, I won’t mention. But what a nice news, ahh sorry not news. Ok ok, talk to you some other time.

Ma: (totally exicited) Listen listen Sangita had just called so and so is getting married. How nice no?

Me: Didn’t Sangita tell you, its not NEWS and don’t share?

Ma: Ofcourse she did, but I bet she is already calling half the world and who are you going to tell, you don’t even know these people.

Me: And about what I said earlier?

Ma: You? What did you say? Yeah, you did tell me some lame story, but it was totally boring. I don’t even remember it now. And I have ten thousand things to do. Call me tomorrow ok?

Me: Ok (yay!)

And just like that she forgot and kept my secret a secret. How nice it is, when you can share something with someone who you know would absolutely forget it after listening hehehe.