Played possum and died, poor Madam Fly!!

So people remember Madam Fly? That big fat lady fly, who was merrily swishing across my home. She has befallen a tragic death yesterday sigh!!! Let's us all take a moment here and maintain silence for our Madam Fly. WHAT? Who Madam Fly? You don't know any such fly. What are you doing even reading my blog? Go read this first.

Okie okie now back to the story of tragic death. So yesterday after a healthy dinner, I retired to my bedroom. I wish I could add some creepy background music to this story, bollywood style. I was on my laptop, focused on beating someone's "Crazy Taxi Score" on Facebook suddenly I experienced a swish in front of my nose. Right then I knew that Madam Fly had taken the liberty of entering my bedroom. How dare she? I mean really, how dare she. The moment she saw me annoyed and found me engrossed in some task, she started swaying and swishing and teasing. All right people, I know she always needs all the attention when she is around. Its a natural behavior of flies. But shouldn't she know by now, with all the temper and @$#%%## I say that I completely hate her.

There is nothing I like about her, those transparent wings, bulgy black eyes, 5 crooked feet (ok may be 4 not 5, I mean really who cares) and those germs she carries. But I knew the right thing to do was to ignore her. So I tried to breathe like 3 times and got back to the game. That’s me, I can do that. But how long could I remain that way. In just a few seconds I was on all alert. If I notice some insect and I dislike it, I simply squish it. Tragic, but clean death. But in case of Madam Fly it wasn’t the same reaction. Reason being, she was a humungous fly and an athlete at the same time. This meant running behind her, using guerilla warfare techniques and smashing her at the right moment. I was all over the place. Yelling, eewwww’s and yuckssss which no matter how dead Madam Fly would be, she would hear it. Then there was throwing my slippers in mid air trying to aim at Madam Fly. There were slippers flying all over the bedroom.

Eventually after a lot of jumping on bed, climbing on walls, dragging like a soldier on floor, I took charge and committed the murder. It may seem to people like a brutal murder, but guys I can hardly kill a tiny worm and this was a jumbo fly for God sakes. I once again tried to ignore her and was convinced that it was the only way to deal with her. The moment I did that, she suddenly came flying around and sat on my lap. Eewww, I know ewww, but guys my reaction or rather reflex since I was in a killer mode to beat the Crazy Taxi Score, was to hit her. And guess what? She hopped and fell dead, right there in my lap. “Mar gayi” ha ha ha ha, exactly my reaction. I took a tissue to wrap her and throw her in the dustbin. What did you all think, I would cremate her or something? But the moment I brought a tissue, she flipped over and zoomed away. Huh?? Yeah people, she was playing possum.

Playing plain dead. Can you believe this? Acting dead so that she can freak me out.

She flashed her wings right in front of my nose and I am sure I could hear some laughter there. I decided it was enough. I just got back to my work that very moment and allowed her to enjoy her moment of victory. She was zooming around the room, corner to corner at an amazing speed. Poor ignorant being. She had no idea of the warm mist humidifier ON in the room. While she was all flashy about what she had achieved and flying, she flew over the warm mist. And there and then it happened. She fell right on the humidifier –dead. I am sure for her it must be like a volcano suddenly erupting from the floor, it was a natural calamity. Who could avoid that? Frankly if you ask me, I think it must have been a heart attack. Yeah really, considering her weight and ecstasy at cheating me…she just couldn’t handle it guys.