Friday, May 8, 2009

Swine flu!

So 2 weeks without post, I know you all must be wondering what’s up right? Oh come on, ok well may be you didn’t wonder, but I kinda live in my own world where I believe all that exists in world is good. OMG, I seriously have lost it, literally scribbling some utter rubbish and trust me if not for the spelling check thing, this sentence would have sounded totally different. Last 2 weeks there is been lot happening around Swine Flu and Layoffs. Either people are dead, ill or jobless. Ok kidding. But seriously there were emails flying all around about swine flu and masks, one person constantly kept enquiring about a pig mask. Well that said there were parents calling from India and there were enquiries, suggestions, orders and such.

Ma: That disease some flu flu, in papers it says, its all over US. People are dying left and right. You better not go to work. And I have avoided asking you this Hey Ram…do you’ll eat pig?

Me: Ma please! No ones dying, some schools are closed but that’s just precaution, if it was so bad office would have been shut. And no one gets the swine flu by eating pork (Oops there we go)

Ma: NO ONE GETS BY EATING PORK. So now you give up all dharma, karma. Eat cow also, who is there to see. No one is watching so you kids can do whatever you want, Ram Ram…Krishna..Vishnu (and then she goes on a God name recital marathon)

Me: MAAAA, no we don’t eat pork. I am just saying, the disease doesn’t spread that way.

Ma: (Breathing now relaxed)You better stick to vegetarian food. Sangita was telling me about masks, what masks they wear, is it like doctors, nurses?

Me: Who is Sangita? And I haven’t seen anyone wearing masks, but I saw emails, hilarious kinds of masks, I will email bro. He can show you the email.

Ma: Sangita..you don’t know Sangita, she is our bai…like since 6 months and you don’t know. Which world are you in, so many times I told you, I know you call me when you are almost asleep and I am only talking here. So all this time you didn’t know her, now at least you know na? Send that email and send all that swine flu information, here papers write all stories but no real facts.

Me: Ok ok…..telll Sangita I said hi (Gosh!)

Ma: And why are so many people fired, what will all those people do. I remember the good old days, people got a job and would stay there till they retired. Now there are these all horror stories, people change job so many times, you young kids get bored and then change job, complain complain, now see what happened

Me: Ma, this has nothing to do with job hopping. It’s a economy thing. Why do you bother Ma? What’s happening in Saas Bahu serial these days?

Ma: Don’t even ask, I have stopped watching Tulsi serial, so many times characters change, but then I see it now and then. Economy, everything is becoming so expensive and then there is that…what is that…all people removed from jobs. That is why pray everyday, do namasmaran.

Me: (Oh please don’t get started on that now) Ok well, I need to get some sleep now. I will pray and not eat non-veg and yes do yoga and whatever else you say

Ma: Ok Ok I will go tell Sangita there are no masks in US, where she heard it from I will ask. That other building Rajni aunty’s son is in US, her maid told her it seems. Should tell her do some namasmaran rather than talking all this.

Me: Ok byee…(Oh man, sorry Sangita)

Ma: Aaccha, take care, bhaji wali has come…nahi nahi yeh kidhar hai tazi bhaji..dekho kaise dikhti hai ekdum mari hui….aaj kal kuch bhi leke aati ho…kya 10 roopaiya joodi….itna mehenga…nahi nahi…..

And there is went talking to the bhaji wali, I still hung on to the phone listening to their conversation. Sometimes I wish there were bhaji walis here too :)

16 comments:

Music7 said...

hhahah ! :-)
Good one.. parents are so funny.. mummies are funnier and always worried :-)
Dad told me not to go to NY for long weekend :(

SecondSight said...

Yay, you're back and so is your Mom!:) This made me put my pork egg roll down, in case moms can see through posts ! Btw, didn't your mom get a new maid a month or so ago ? Where did Sangita re-surface from ?:)

Neeraja said...

Hey nice to see a post. I was actually wondering where you were! :). Nice post on Ma chronicles, as usual! :)

Vivek said...

I remember an old Halloween party where when guy came with this costume that had only a surgical mask! (He had clothes on too. Dont get the wrong idea)

When we asked him why he didn't get a costume, he said
"Who said I didn't get a costume?
I'm a SARS patient!"

Perception said...

GGadre: Totally agree, dont tell me they havent given you a list of things not to do on ur NY trip :)

SecondSight: Hehehhe yep back I am. There is a high bai turnover in Ma land. But really dont know exactly where and when Sangita re-sufaced and dare I ask :)

You better stay away from the pork egg rolls, Ma's have some kinda of seventh sense focused solely on kids, no matter where they live Ma's get the updates. Hmph! But again, that's exactly what makes Ma so special, isnt it?

Neeraja: Let me first curse the google blogroll !@@#@$%$$! I often look up for updates on my blogroll for all blog buddies posts and visit their blogs. And guess what, yday I saw your blog updated and when I visited, saw 3 posts there. 3 posts and I hadn't read them. So making a mental note- do not trust blogroll :)

Btw, the little child in me is jumping with joy at the thought that people actually missed me :) Thanks much!

Vivke: Hehehhee SARS seriously! Btw, great idea for thsi yr's halloween :)

Unknown said...

Ah, good ol' ma stories...always worth a chuckle. I think she still doesnt know that veg dishes here also have some kind of sickness! If only the organic bhaji walis would visit us...

Suma Subramaniam said...

"Mother" is the best word in the Dictionary. It was such an entertaining post!

Do wish your mother a very happy mother's day from me!

Parsing Nonsense said...

Oh man, that swine flu is so silly. You have a better chance of dying in a car accident than from dying from swine flu. More people die from the regular flu than die from swine flu!

shefusohani said...

I was in NY during the Swine Flu 'epidemic'...Believe me I always thought the Indian media to be sensationalizing facts but the US media is no less..if at all anything its better at this task..before the reports could even confirm the victims infected with the swine fu there was a global epidemic...Impossible & Impatient!!!!

Perception said...

Nina: Oh yeah I dont even want to initiate the organic vs non-organic veggie topic with her :). I am totally with u on the organic bhaji wali visit.

Suma: Thanks! I agree Mother is definitely the best word in the Dictionary :)

Parsing Nonsense:I know, really. I mean what hype.

Shefu:Dont even get me started on Indian newspapers, it totally deserves a dedicated post. Here today's useless article http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Mumbai-cops-goof-up-711-accused-acquitted/articleshow/4511603.cms

sid said...

nice post...i thought all moms knew by now that when they are talking to their children, its only them talking...:-)and the Bhaji wali???nice touch...

SecondSight said...

Hey,
Totally unrelated but can't find an email address here, thanks for going back to all those older posts and reading through each one ! :) (Especially considering the nonsense some of them are ;) )

Ketan said...

Hi!

How stale is the bhaji er... conversation? The saas-bahu serial (kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi...) stopped airing a few months back. Entertaining read! Keep writing!

Take care.

Perception said...

Sid: O yeah the only person talking in a mom-daughter conversation is mom and mostly it revolves arnd do's and dont's for kids. But again, that's the only person who can realistically point out the do's and don't which we will accept :). Will be writing soon, do visit again.

SecondSight: Its always a pleasure reading your posts. Love them all. I kind of feel bad for not reading them before everyone else :)

Btw, on my things to do list which is never-ending I have the email addr to be added on blog :)

Ketan: Welcome, welcome. Glad u liked the post. Now that you pointed out the how stale the conversation is, i realize I need to put up another post and that better be soon :)

Anjana R said...

everybody's back from their siesta. your turn. :)

Anonymous said...

Your mom is so similar to mine (and probably many more) when it comes to the worrying!

My mom is worried about me going to work and spending time in downtown because she thinks I'm going to die from the swine flu. And since I actually don't eat meat, she just curses the people who do. Cha, Look at these kids, eating this pork shork (I never understook the rhyming thing)